Boys and their Toys
by DirtyHentaiGoddess3
Summary: What will happen when the Yugioh guys run into sexual frustration?
1. Jonouchi

Sexual Frustration

Jonouchi walked the hallways of Kaiba Corp alone. It was late, most of the employees had already left, and Kaiba had already told him numerous times that he was busy. It was getting to the point where Jonouchi was actually considering doing his homework. This could not be right!

It was then that he heard the call.

The blonde turned his bright eyes upward hopefully and heard the gentle humming from the other room. It spoke to him, promising to fulfill his deepest desires.

He was drawn to his feet, already feeling himself awakening in anticipation of what lay in the next room.

Jonouchi opened the door and gasped. It was everything he expected for it to be, and the gentle purring noises only enticed him more.

The copy machine.

Immediately, he threw himself atop the wonderful machine, still warm from being used during the day. And it was still going. It was going just for him.

Mischievously, Jonouchi opened the top, loving how the light underneath hid playfully when he did so. He could still feel it calling to him, telling him to finish it already!

"Oh.. oh darling I will!" Jonouchi panted. He ran his hands up and down the copy machine, feeling the warmth. Gently, the machine hummed back to him, invigorating him and encouraging him even more.

"Ahh! Ahhhn!!" Jonouchi cried loudly. Deep down inside, he had always suspected it. But now he knew that the machine was his dearest and truest love.

Kaiba walked into the room with a stack of papers he needed to copy, and dropped them to the floor when he saw what was happening. "Jonouchi! No!" He ran forward to pull him away from the device.

But it was too late, for Jonouchi had already made love to the machine, leaving his mark for the disgruntled brunette to see.

"Jonouchi, I don't ever want to see you do that again!" Kaiba said angrily.

The light haired boy grinned devilishly up at him. He could make no promises.

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Believe it or not (and I'm sure those of you who know me do) there is a dirtier version of this fic. Unfortunately, I cannot post it here. If you would like to see the complete and original version of this chapter (and all the rest of the chapters I have so far) feel free to click on the link listed in my profile. But I didn't tell you that. ::winks::


	2. Yami Yugi

The Lurker in the Darkness

Yami Yugi was suddenly wrenched out of his sleep, sweating from his fantasies and very aroused. He looked to his side and saw his hikari sleeping peacefully. "I don't want to wake him, he's had a tough day."

Just when he was about to give up and go back to sleep, he heard a sinister sound beacon him from downstairs. He whispered, "Who's there?!"

But the voice spoke no more. Curious, Yami slowly crept down the stairs until he stood before the door to the kitchen.

That's when he heard it again. A soft rumble, beaconing him closer.

Yami gasped. Could it be? Could this day that he had looked forward to so much have finally arrived?! Without waiting another moment, he ran into the kitchen and embraced his one true love.

The refrigerator.

Knowingly, the refrigerator spun it's inward fans, cooing to Yami and beaconing him to open it's doors. "Yes, of course my love, I am yours."

Yami placed his hand on the cold hard handle of the refrigerator and closed his eyes, anticipation building within himself, making him want this even more.

With a rush of energy, he threw open the doors and was bathed in the refreshing, cool, ethereal light. "Ahh… so nice…" Yami purred, running his fingers longingly over the ridges and shelves of the refrigerator's deliciously cold insides.

The light blinked innocently at Yami, and the fans hummed with equal anticipation. Not about to make his love wait any longer, Yami tore off his shirt and pressed his chest against the door. It was so cold. So delightfully cold. "Oh… Ohhh!"

Sleepily, Yugi stumbled downstairs to see what the ruckus was all about. "Yami I thought I told you to stop raiding the refrig… YAMI!!! No!" Yugi's eyes snapped open and he ran down the stairs to stop him.

Yami paid no attention to his little hikari, for he had found the love of his large refrigerator. After his own special version of "raiding the refrigerator" he cried out in ecstasy!

Yugi wrenched Yami away from the refrigerator as quickly as he could, but already he knew that he would have to buy Jonouchi another birthday cake. He pouted. "Yami, please don't ever do that again!"

Yami grinned. Yugi didn't understand the pleasure he had just experienced. He didn't understand… yet.

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Again, the original version of this chapter is available in my profile. Review my fic there and it'll make my day!


	3. Bakura

Hidden Dangers

Bakura paced around the bedroom angrily. It just figured that his stupid hikari would leave for school _just _when he needed him the most! He bit down on his lower lip, thinking of who else he could call to his aide.

Suddenly, a low rumbling caught his attention. It spoke to him and danced in front of his eyes, urging him to follow it.

In a daze, and curious to know what the hell was talking to him, Bakura followed the sound, becoming entranced by it. It led him to the closet, a place he hadn't visited in a long time, but what could it be?

As he placed his hand on the doorknob, inspiration suddenly struck him, and he knew what was calling to him. "Oh fuck yeah!" His eyes lit with a manic glint and he nearly pulled the door off its hinges to get at his beautiful prize.

The vacuum.

Happier than he had ever been in his life, Bakura pulled the vacuum cleaner out of the closet and swung it around to a hypnotic ancient Egyptian dance. He threw his head back and laughed as it billowed its dust sack back and forth, teasing him.

After said courting was done, Bakura plugged in the machine and embraced it, invigorated by the purring of his precious vacuum. Eager to see what it could offer him, he pulled out the extension tube, and began to experiment.

"Now we are one!" Like a madman, he shouted and continued to do his own special dance with his lover. "Unnn! Uhh… Ra damn it!"

Just as he was about to give into his mechanical lover, he noticed a little switch that said "on." Wondering what it would do, Bakura flicked it on.

Immediately the vacuum came to life and roared like a pride of angry lions, with a ferocity only Seto Kaiba could match.

Bakura screamed out in sadomasochistic pleasure!

Mistaking the scream for a call of distress, Ryou ran back into the house and stood horrified. "Bakura! No not again!" Ryou knew better than to disturb his yami during his special endeavors, and only pouted after Bakura had finished. "I told you last time that the vacuum doesn't like that. Please Bakura, don't do that again!"

Unplugging the glorious device, Bakura only grinned up at Ryou. As always, he walked away without a word.


	4. Malik

Les Liasons Dangereuses

Malik sat alone. He had been sitting for quite some time, waiting for someone to come by, but alas nobody did!

He sat forlornly alone on the couch. It was a comfortable couch. It made him think of warm apple pies.

He was about to give up. He could take it no longer, but suddenly, it called!

"_Malik… come to me…_" It whispered seductively.

"Who is there!" He cried forthrightly!

In response, he only heard a soft cooing. It spoke to him quietly, pleasantly, and drew him forth from his comfortable couch.

Malik drew nigh upon the kitchen. He was close now, he could feel it. And yet so far!  
He twitched, for there it stood before him. A mockery to what he thought he would find. "HOW DARE YOU!" He screamed, running up and throttling the blender with his brazen muscular Egyptian arms.

The blender snickered. "heh heh heh."

"You profane me with your lust!" Malik cried, shaking his fist at the refrigerator. "You, however," he said sexily to the blender, "Give me the jingles in my love kaleidoscope."

The blender was confused, but nevertheless, it persisted, and spun its blades seductively. "_Malik…._" It whispered with untold promise.

Malik was about to give in, when he felt unsettled. "But wait, you are a blender." He cocked his eyebrow.

"_And you are Egyptian, but do I discriminate against you?_" The blender whispered, humming its fans like a flock of geese.

"No, I don't suppose you do." He spoke, then began what he always began around this time of day. The blender nodded in approval.

He slowly did a strip tease, pulling off one piece of clothing at a time, flinging it to the corners of the kitchen.

"_Yes… that is the way… keep doing that…_" Spoke the lecherous kitchen appliance.

"You're so fine!" He gasped in delight, unable to hold himself back any longer. He licked the rim of the blender, and gasped and moaned.

"_Oh you haven't seen anything yet…_" It purred back sexily and quickly began to spin it's blades for Malik.

Malik screamed in an exotic form of pleasure/pain. It was everything he wanted.

Pegasus walked into the suite, looking for a cup of sugar. "Oh Malik-boy, do you have…. AAAAHH!" He screamed, witnessing first-hand the bloody spectacle before him. "Malik! No!"

But it was too late, for Malik had… well, done his thing.

As quickly as he could, Pegasus pulled the Egyptian boy away from the blender. "Stop that right now! I have reasons!"

But rather than listen to the reasons, Malik scoffed at him and stormed away.

The force of the scoff knocked him into the fax machine. (The one next to the stove, not the one next to the microwave.)

"Why hello there…"

"I am Les Miserables!" Malik screamed and continued to storm away, happy that the blender had taught him French.


	5. Pegasus

Awaiting Disaster

It had been a long time since he had felt such a comforting embrace.

Pegasus smiled and sipped a martini tastefully. "The only person I can count on to make it right is myself." He sighed, basking in his narcissism.

Laughing delightfully, he flipped a page of his comic book, thinking that there could be no pleasure better than this.

He couldn't have been more wrong.

As soon as he heard the gentle humming, Pegasus threw the martini glass to the floor and dropped his precious comic book into the broken shards of glass. He knew this call, for he had heard it many times before.

Smacking himself on his forehead he screamed in a primal rage, "How could I have been so moronic! I met you in Malik's house, and yet I ignored you for an eternity!"

Quickly, he ran out of his home and into the street, crawling and toiling his way across the desolate city of Domino. He took a short break for pizza. Finally, he arrived at his destination, short of breath and covered in dirt from the windswept wasteland.

There, it waited for him, pages and pages of anticipation pouring from its awaiting orifice.

The fax machine.

"My darling!" Pegasus cried and ran to embrace his electronic love. It was already printing page after page for him, begging him to touch it, to feel it from the inside.

"No faxy-boy, I won't do that… that will hurt you…" He murmured, concerned for the safety of his fax machine.

It protested, whining that it would not be hurt, that love was more important. Pegasus sighed but could only agree.

With great resolution, he embraced his newfound love and placed his delicate hands within the fax machine, shivering with delight as the machine gently buzzed and printed more sheets of anticipation.

Pegasus could resist no longer, it was just too much to bear! Freeing himself from the confines of his clothing, he embraced the machine again, touching the warm plastic.

"Oh.. oh faxy…" He murmured, loving the pet name he had given his love already. His love continued to hum and print eagerly.

Suddenly Yami Malik walked into his own house! "What the fuck is going on!" He yelled (that's how he lets people know he's home,) noticing that the fax machine next to the microwave was just fine, but that the fax machine next to the stove was far from fine!

Pegasus was determined not to let anything come between the magical love he had just found, and he guarded his precious fax machine with his bare body. "Mmm… faxy… faxy!"

"Pegasus! No! Not the fax machine next to the stove!" Yami Malik's eyes widened in horror and he tackled the silver haired man, throwing him to the ground in one fell swoop.

But even he could not repair the damage, for the fax machine had already done its job. Somewhere far away, some poor bastard would receive that fax…


End file.
